Something Great
by dontforgettherobot
Summary: A series of one shots featuring Barney and Robin as (awesome) parents. Enjoy!


**A/N: I kept telling myself I needed to finish writing There's a Bump in the Road before posting this, but I'm still outlining the rest of it and this was ready to be published so I couldn't resist. I'm making this as a collection of oneshots all set in the same future as Bump, but I'm not going to follow a timeline here. It's basically whatever scenario pops into my head with Barney and Robin and their daughter, whatever her age might be. You don't need to read Bump to read this, but I think there will be a couple of tie-ins, just for fun. Also it doesn't really matter, but this is supposed to be in the same universe as my old fic Robots and Beavers, hence the kid's first name. The title goes back to that time Robin told Barney: "if you keep giving up on people so quickly, you're gonna miss out on something great." This is that something great.**

**(ETA) A/N #2: I feel like I had to address something someone pointed out in a review. It was not my intention to picture Barney as a xenophobe. This is all based on his continued comments about Canada and that one time he said "They speak French there, too? God, that country's messed up", which I thought could be used as a fun prompt. Including France was a choice I made based on that and the fact that Barney tends to be way overdramatic to stay in character. That's why Robin points out he just likes being a jerk (he brought Canada to her damn it) and he says she's right. Who's implying he's not going to be happy when his daughter ends up speaking several languages (and she will, because that's specifically my headcanon)? Of course he could teach her how to say ridiculous things in Korean, and this fic doesn't rule that out. If I gave you that impression, then I'm sorry. If there's one thing I hate is for them to act out of character, so I had to explain my reasoning behind it.**

* * *

**Paris, February 2020**

"You will not _believe_ what just happened at the bread shop around the corner."

Dropping the brown paper bag on their coffee table, Barney lets go of their daughter's hand and takes off his coat. Robin gives him a quick peck on the lips and crouches down to unbutton the three years old's little blue coat, getting rid of her hat and revealing her ruffled blond hair underneath.

"You mean the _boulangerie_?" she asks him.

"Uh, _yeah_, the bread shop, that's what I said. Anyway, we were getting those impossibly long, ambiguously shaped pieces of bread…"

"They're called baguettes."

"Robin!" he whines at the interruption. "I'm telling a story. Just… okay?"

"Okay, fine, sorry."

"Okay, so we were about to leave, and this little one here," he points at Clara, who's happily chewing on a piece of warm French bread. "She…Oh my God, I cannot even say it," he seems to catch his breath as he sits on the couch, "she - _our daughter_ - Clara Evelyn Stinson, flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood…"

"Oh my God, Barney, please just say it."

"She looked at that old lady behind the counter, and she said," he covers Clara's ears and whispers, "she said, _au revoir_." He screeches, his eyes alarmed. "What are we gonna do?"

"That's it? She said au revoir?"

"Shhhh, she can hear you!" he hisses.

"You're concerned because she's speaking French? They teach French in preschool."

"They speak _French _in _preschool?_ That's preposterous, why would they ever do that?"

"Because we're in Paris?"

"Yeeaaah, but isn't that some kind of cool, American school? We're not paying them to teach her such _words_."

"Daddy," Clara says as she climbs on his lap. "You know that au revoir means goodbye?"

"Noooo,_ goodbye _means goodbye, _au revoir_ means 'Uncle Ted is cool'. Is that even the truth?"

Clara laughs and scrunches her nose. "That's silly."

"Well, French people _are_ silly, monkey."

"No, it's silly because Mommy says it means goodbye. We read a _whole_ book while you were in New York and it was _all_ made of French words."

"We did not!" Robin says in a high-pitched tone, giggling uncomfortably. Barney's mouth falls open and he looks up at her.

"You read a _book_ to her and it was in _French_?!"

"Mh-hm," Clara nods, playing with his tie. "It was about a prince and he traveled a lot but he missed his planet and he had a flower."

Barney looks at her with a questioning, insisting look, and Robin sighs. "Okay yeah, fine, we read The Little Prince."

"Uh," Barney lets out a small laugh. "That's not in French."

"Uh, yes it is, the author was French."

"That's disgusting! Clara," he looks down at his daughter. "If that book scared you, you must tell me."

Robin rolls her eyes. "Okay, seriously, don't you think you're being a little overdramatic here?"

He gasps. "Over- overdramatic!? I go back to New York for one week and my daughter speaks the language of this lame-ass country. AND CANADA!"

"Well, she _is_ more Canadian than she is American…"

"WE'RE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN!"

"Not Canada again," Clara whines in that same moment, hopping off Barney's lap and heading for her room. She never understood why her parents got so fired up every time Canada came up in a conversation. She knew she was 5/8 Canadian – whatever that meant – and when they had brought her to Canada for her aunt's wedding, she had thought it was okay. But her dad kept refusing his change every time he bought coffee, and that was always followed by him muttering something about Looney Tunes for some reason. Also, he kept asking people if they knew who her mom was, and she thought that was weird. Why would anyone know her mom? She knew she was on TV – and one time, she also made her watch this great show where she had blond hair and a beaver and she made math sound _fun_ – but it was not like she was a famous actress, or a singer for that matter. Of course she sang for her sometimes, and she knew her dad got all excited when she did, but she couldn't figure out why he wanted her to go and sing in a mall on that particular trip. And since she never knew what they were talking about, or _aboat_ – what that means, she has no idea – she'd rather go play with those Star Wars legos Uncle Ted gave her, because let's face it, that spaceship wasn't just going to build itself.

"See? She doesn't like Canada, either." Barney says proudly.

"Oh shut up, okay? She loves Canada, and you love Canada too. You just like being a jerk."

"That… _is_ true. But come on, Robin, French? We're only here for three months."

"I know, but Barney, last week you missed your flight because you insisted in speaking English to that very French cab driver! I don't want our daughter to miss her flights!"

"Okay, first of all, she's three, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves here; second of all, that cab driver knew exactly what 'airport' meant, but he was a jackass. He was a poorly-dressed, lame, French jackass."

"You refused to tell him which airport you needed to go to, because Charles de Gaulle 'sounded too French'."

Barney nods. "And I stand by my decision."

Robin bites the inside of her cheek as she starts smiling. "You're an idiot," she says, and holds out her hand. Barney grabs it and gets up the couch, placing his other hand on her hip.

"I missed you so much," she says after they kiss.

"I missed you, too," he kisses her again and smiles. "New York kind of feels off without you. And mini-you, of course."

"Mini-us, more like it. The other day she threw a tantrum because her shoes got covered in mud at the park." She chuckles as Barney gasps in horror. "Don't worry, I had them cleaned."

"Poor kid," he sighs. "She must've been devastated."

"Yeah, for about five minutes. Then I bought her ice cream and she forgot all about it."

"Ice cream?" He frowns. "It's freezing outside."

"What can I say?" Robin shrugs. "She's got true Canadian blood."

"And, that was your third time mentioning Canada today. You're on time-out, Scherbatsky."

"Aw, man, already?"

"Yup," he starts counting on his fingers, "_first_, you hummed the Canadian anthem in the cab on our way back from the airport, _and then_ you tried to teach Clara French."

"Damn it," she whispers, and then she looks up at him and smirks. "You know, I could just keep going."

He smirks, too. "Do that at your own risk, Robin. You know there's a price to pay."

Robin presses her body against him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Well, that's never stopped me before, has it." Her lips are just inches away from his ear when she whispers. "Maple. Syrup."

Clara doesn't notice them sneaking into the bathroom and remerging ten minutes later, but she does wonder why their hair is suddenly all messed up when they join her in her room. Her parents are funny, she thinks, and she shows them how her Rapunzel doll can be totally awesome and pilot her newly-built Millennium Falcon, even though it didn't turn out exactly as the one on the box.

* * *

That night, soon after Barney's finished telling her one of his ridiculous, adventurous stories, Clara snuggles even closer to him in bed.

"Daddy?" she says.

"Yeah?"

"Are you the little prince?"

Barney frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Well he looks like you. And he wanted to go back to his planet, but he couldn't."

Barney chuckles, slightly shaking his head and planting a kiss on her hair. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, munchkin. Why would I be from another planet?"

"Because you don't like French and you always say New York is the best city in the _whole_ world." She falls silent for a second, trying to put the puzzle together. "Do you have a flower in New York, Daddy?"

Barney tries to suppress a smile. "Mh, a flower, you say?"

Clara looks up expectantly. "Yes."

"No," Barney says after a moment, and Clara sighs in disappointment. "But," he continues, "I do have something I miss all the time when I'm away."

"Really? Is it in New York?"

"Nope," Barney shakes his head. "She's right here," he says, and boops his daughter's nose. She giggles.

"So I am your flower?"

"Of course you are."

"Okay," she says, sleepy as she snuggles under the covers and finally closes her eyes, reassured by this new piece of information.

Robin peeks her head through the door. "Is she asleep?" She whispers.

"Almost," Barney answers, and watches as his wife walks to the other side of the bed, crouching beside it and smoothing their daughter's hair.

"Goodnight, pumpkin," she says.

"'Night Mommy," Clara answers, eyes still closed. "Daddy says I'm his flower, and I think you are, too," she says as she starts drifting into sleep. Robin looks at Barney with questioning eyes.

"I'll explain later," he says, before tucking Clara in and whispering goodnight.

"Bonne nuit," they hear her say a few moments later as they're about to leave the room, and Robin urgently pushes a pale, speechless Barney out the door before he gets the chance to explode. It takes him two drinks before he manages to start breathing like a normal person again.


End file.
